Lost Cause

a poem

Photo by Willdwind / William Martret on Unsplash

I fall

But it looks like I'm walking

I scream

But it sounds like I'm speaking

I break

But it seems like I'm healing

I detach

But it feels like I'm feeling

I am resting my arms

On the kitchen counter

Decay is just another

Word for life.

I can't remember their names

I no longer see the patterns.

The code was never just

Code.

I think the truth is that

I always wanted to be loved.

But love just felt so fucking

Violent.

I take

But it seems like I'm giving

I own

But it seems like I'm freeing

I take

But it seems like I'm creating

I love

But it seems like I'm hating